Yesterday I spent the entire working session working like an eager beaver on a big magazine feature which essentially sapped my reserve for extra-curricular scribing.

It's dripping outside, which helps not in the 'alternative ways to build a '10'' category. 10 videos, perhaps, or 10 photos. Of 10 different vegetables in their natural environment. I'd go with 10 different cathedral views but here in Liverpool there are only 8. Views, that is. Before anyone objects or questions my rationale, I dismiss you all: I counted them with my fingers so it must be true.

So there I was, plodding the flat and banging my head against anything less soft than a slice of toilet roll, and something literally fell into my box:

"Can I pick your brains if possible. I have asked about 10 people would they like to be interview for the magazine in different sectors and they said yes , but I need to send them questions. May I ask your opinion on what would be the best questions to ask to make the magazine interesting."

It's always nice to be asked a question, but without promise of payment in any form the natural inclination is somewhere between bugger off and yes - 'WILL A BOY EVER BE BORN WHO CAN SWIM FASTER THAN A SHARK?'

Well, Paul, you plopped in at the right time. You need me, and quite unexpectedly, I need you.

So you want to launch a magazine, or an ezine, or you just want to add some flair to your blog. You want to get the best out of your interviewee. You ask me - flattering but the right way to go about it, since I'm an experienced journalist and editor.

There's a secret formula known only to reporters and most English students. And secretaries - dear God, I love a secretary. Especially one in a pencil-line skirt and tight mohair sweater.

But back to the plan. This secret is thus:

1. How
2. What
3. Where
4. When
5. Why

Yes, the very fundament of interrogation relies on the four rugby players bums (W W W W) on the goalposts (H), as my journalist teacher Jeanette once eloquently described it.

How did you start?
How did it happen?

And of course, to kick things off in convivial fashion:

How are you?

What is it?
What possessed you?
What's next?

Where did you get the idea?
Where does it hurt?
Where did you last see your mother?
Where can I buy it?
Where are your customers located?

When will it be available?
When did you last see a doctor?
When did you begin the project?
When did it all start to make sense?
When did you get the funding?

Why will people want it?
Why did you invent it?
Why did you leave the back door open, anyway?
Why did you put that, there?
Why didn't you wear the mohair sweater?

Not bad, eh? And it's only just 9am. I rock!

6. KISS. Eurgh! Get off! I mean Keep It Simple, Stupid. And next time, shave first - how do I explain this beard scuff to my girlfriend?

7. What's your expected outcome? You can either follow an interview 'roadmap' (thanks to all at Orange Lake Resorts for introducing me to the first Americanism that actually makes sense) that will take you to your intended result - or go with the WWWWH Dummies Guide To Asking Questions formula that will workhorse you towards a random result that, actually, will be more interesting than what you expected.

I cannot stress at this point that, in my experience at least, no matter how much planning and preparation you put in for your interviews, whether by email or face to face/Skype, you'll ALWAYS end up with something completely unexpected, and far more exciting and intriguing than you ever imagined. That's the beauty of people like you and me. We're all deliciously weird.

8. Ego massage. 100 times out of 99 your interviewee is a little bemused at being asked to contribute to a masterpiece. That, again, Dr Watson, is human nature. No matter your status in life, it's always enormously flattering to be sought as a genius of some form. So go one step further and let them know you care about their answers, that in some way they are making a direct contribution to the evolution of humanity. I don't mean be a sycophant, but it's so good to be able to warmly introduce yourself and say "I was prompted to contact you in the first instance after reading what x said about you." So long as it wasn't her husband after finding out about what she did with THAT mango and the Leonardo di Caprio poster.

9. Write like an Egyptian. Them crazy followers of the Sun God had it right thousands of years before A A Gill and Will Self figured it out. The pyramid effect. It's not just for the Pharaoh's tomb you know - it's equally critical to the application of fine writing. When you craft your piece, get the important gubbins in right at the start. The introduction should tell your fans everything they need to know - and this is more critical than ever when you're trying to mesmerise an online audience. Get the naked rugby stars and their field furniture in here, and you're the next Jeffrey Archer. Another secret: the greatest introductions to (news) stories are 28 words long. Second paragraph in, start fleshing out the details. The pyramid effect is so designed for journalism so that your sub can come in and cut from the bottom of the story without sacrificing the flow of the story. Subbing? That reminds me...

10. Edit. Don't worry - that wasn't a form of self-censorship although I admit on your behalf that that action may sometimes be more necessary than actually happens. When I say edit, I mean the most important part of your job as wannabe journalist: be harsh and sub the hell out of what you think is the final piece de resistance. If it's 500 words then hack it down to 300.

Now get out there and win a Pulitzer!